I'll Have Mine With A Side of Guilt

It never ceases to amaze me how guilty you feel once you become a parent. It’s almost like you walk around with a constant sense of guilt about everything. If you’re at work you feel like you should be at your child’s school…guilt. If you’re at home with the kids you feel like you should be out doing something to improve their quality of life…guilt. My boys went to spend some time with their father’s family this weekend. I really needed some me time to just sit alone with my thoughts. Who am I kidding…I wanted the house to stay clean for a couple days! I can’t express the joy I feel when I walk in the house and there are no shoes, socks, toys, or crayons sprawled everywhere. I want to listen to MY music without there being a Mexican standoff about turning on the TV or listening to Wacka Flacka…whoever he is! I surfed the web and visited my friends on Facebook and Twitter without feeling like I was “ignoring” my children for once. I ate cereal for dinner and didn’t have to make a special order meal for my picky eaters….aaaah freedom! It felt like the old me…the girl I fondly yet vaguely remember.

Still in the quiet moments there’s my old nemesis guilt. I actually felt little twinges of guilt as I enjoyed a day at the mall shopping for ME! As I stopped for ice cream I thought, “Aww the boys probably would love some.” As pathetic as it sounds, I found myself looking at their pictures and sending my oldest a text to see how he was. He never replied so I guess that’s my answer “We’re fine mom…get a life!”

I still haven’t completely figured out that balance between having a life for me and being an attentive mom. I’m acutely aware that we only get one chance to raise our children AND we only have one life to live. How do you manage to raise healthy, well adjusted children without completely losing yourself? Well, I think you have to make time for you. Schedule time where you can be away from your children to reconnect with yourself, be yourself. Even if you can't physically send them away, steal away to your bedroom or bathroom and hang up a "Do Not Disturb" sign. Let the kids know this time alone without them is non negotiable. Spend that time doing something that makes you happy. Give yourself this treat at least once a day and just accept the fact that this 'treat' comes with a side of guilt. Enjoy!